Sunday, October 7, 2012

All of me


Now all I have I lay at your feet...

There is a worship song that I have been singing in my head since I got up but for some reason the only words I can remember is "Now all I have I lay at your feet, I am humbled by the wonders of your majesty".  The funny thing is, is I don't even know if those are the correct lyrics but my heart keeps singing them.  I believe he is trying to tell me this morning, just give it to me lay it down let it go I got this. Ahhh...I love you Jesus.  There is a fire that is burning in my heart to reach others and tell them what an amazing life God has for them if they will let go and give their life to him.  He is put this overwhelming desire in my heart to help   but I am needing to get past this fear of rejection.  I know he is calling me into something but yet I feel like I putting the brakes on and dragging my feet.  My brother when he was younger would always struggle to get on the school bus in the morning.  He would put his hands and feet on the outside of the bus door and you would have to push him in.  Then he would get to school and you would have to pull him out. I didn't understand why at the time but I think back now and I wonder if it was fear.  Fear of the unknown, fear of knowing, fear of rejection.  Fear is a nasty feeling.  I believe that if God has asked you to do something and you still feel that fear it is because the enemy does not want you to step into something.  He fears what will happen for the kingdom of God.  He fears you because God is in you.  He trembles at the mention of God's name. Well I am praying that I will shake up hell with the mentioning of God's name! I don't like talking in front of people.  I don't like all eyes on me.  I start to sweat, shake and talk really fast but if God is wanting me to do specific things involving talking in front of people or leading people then it is all Him. I think that is what he wants from me though.  All Him.  Me out of the equation. Well...here we go God, I am laying all my fears down at your feet and asking you take this fear I have of rejection, not measuring up, comparing myself to others, take what I have Lord and turn it into what you have already planned for me.  I am humbled by the wonders of your majesty. One thing I know I found all I need in your unending love, in your unending love.  Just remembered the other lyrics..well I think that is how they go. Will you humble yourself, will you say Lord I am all in, I am scared but I know you are with me? Where does he want to take me, I have no idea.  But, I am enjoying the process and drawing in closer than ever and that is what he ultimately wants ALL of me. Thank you Father for loving me just how I am and showing me things I need to change.

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