Fed up! Yes, that is me right now. Flat out tired. Need God to show up in a big way. These last 5 years have been the most difficult years of my life. I never would have thought after asking God to come in my life and change me would mean sickness, disease, my children's life at risks, surgeries, more surgeries, financial strife, emotional mountains, battle after battle. On top of it not feeling like you belong anywhere makes a girl have a melt down. Facebook is my enemy. Especially when you see all that you have been praying for happening to everyone around you and nothing for you. How to handle that? How do you handle feeling like God doesn't love you because you are drowning. But, something inside you keeps fighting. Thank you Jesus for your Holy Spirit because I know if I didn't have him in me I would be long gone back in the world. I am not gonna give up this fight. Even if it is only a still small part that is fighting I am gonna hope and pray for the promises I declare everyday. I open my eyes every morning praying that this will be the day and I will do it again tomorrow. God never breaks His promises so I keep holding on even if it is by thread.
For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you not harm you plans for a hope and a future declares the Lord.
Father, there are times when we feel completely beat down and we know you understand our pain. You took every blow we have had and laid it on the cross. Thank you for holding every tear I have cried and thank you for having a plan in my life. Helping me to hold unto you when I feel like letting go.