Thursday, August 8, 2013

With all my heart

Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul and with all your strength Deuteronomy 6:5

Every time I hear this verse referenced I immediately think of children.  Children singing this song at Awnana as loud as they can. Those of you who may not know what Awana is, it is a place where kids learn and memorize scriptures, share with their peers and have team building skills.  It is a great place to get the word of God in them so they know the truth.  The enemy starts lurking around at such a young age I believe to seek, kill and destroy.

 I giggle at how God sets things up only the way he can.  Let me explain if I can.

Two months ago I injured my knee to the point where I needed surgery to repair it. Just this week while I am still slowly healing from it our children's pastor wanted to stop over and pray for me.  I thought that was great, I can use prayer right now because I am not being very patient in the healing process. Keep this in mind as we go along too.  The day after that he was coming over I signed up for the online book study and ordered the book.  So back to pastor visiting...He asks me to be the leader for the youngest of the kids in the Awana club.  This will be from babies to three year old.  Of course it won't be much of memorizing but speaking the word over the kids while loving on them. Throughout our conversation we began to talk about a terrible memory that happened to me as a young person.  Oh me oh my did that start the process rolling and roots were being revealed, strings were being cut, chains broken.  I have lived under such fear to feel things and  have emotions because the things I felt as a child sometimes were horrible and that "self-protect" lie came into play.  I will trust no one, I will keep my guard up, No one will hurt me again.  I honestly thought I was handling it well but I never knew how deep the roots went and was afraid to ask cause I was afraid to feel.  I thought it would hurt too much, be too much...How I was so mislead by the enemy.   I didn't want to ask because I didn't want to deal, I was still in "self protect mode".  Reluctantly I asked and almost braced myself by holding my breathe waiting for doom to strike. However, I  was met with something entirely unexpected. Yes, as I asked I saw, heard and felt the same fear I did at the time of the incident but within a milli second God swooped in held me and took it.  Oh my Jesus how I love him.  So when I think about this verse I am still reminded of Awana but also reminded on how my loving Father heals those wounds when I give him all my heart, all my soul and all my mind.

Now this verse means more to me then ever before.  It is like I turned the corner on the yellow brick road and am now going the way God has always intended me too.  I just had to get through that scary forest trap that the enemy had set up for me so carefully.  I didn't allow fear to win and keep me in the darkness.  I may have been afraid while running through it but I did it with God right by my side.  To heal my heart I had to give him my whole heart no more self protect he told me "Let me take care of that".  Oh how I love Him!

p.s. I am going to accept that offer to be a leader (which is way outside my comfy tent I have perched).  This is a start of something great!!

1 comment:

  1. Wow! "To heal my heart I had to give him my whole heart" I love that!