As my pastor began to preach last weekend, I giggled to myself saying "only you God!"
It is not by chance that I am reading this book, Limitless Life by Derwin Gray. It is not by chance that the exact thing it is discussing is having an "orphaned spirit". It is not by chance that my pastors sermon was titled "The Cup of Acceptance, Adoption". No this is by God. I quickly write at the top of my notes, "this is what the book I am reading is on", and I show it to my husband.
I am sitting in my seat knowing this is the exact place I need to be. The enemy knows this too and starts up with his annoying chatter; this isn't for you, you don't have an orphans heart. Then I hear louder then any other time I ever heard God speak to me. It was like in surround sound ...
"I am going to heal you", I said my leg yes, great...God replied with "No, your heart".
I am taking notes, writing scriptures down, thanking God for all that He is teaching me. The sermon was coming to a closure and my pastor stopped and said I am gonna do something different, I want you to stay seated. My Que...I started to get nervous... He read Romans 8:15
For you did not receive the spirit of bondage again to fear, but you received the Spirit of adoption by whom we cry out Abba Father
All those times where I was rejected, hurt, wounded, pushed back from the priority list when I have time I will get to you, your not good enough, you need to lose weight, only long hair makes a woman pretty, countless things going off in my brain now, worries about my kids being wounded, need to protect, bulid up barriers, all lies...
Pastor James then says, IF you feel rejected, worry about things, need acceptance from others; you have an orphans heart and God wants to heal you.
Yes, yes, and a great big YES!!! Then he asks for all eyes to close and if that is you he wants you to raise your hand...No, don't make me do that, what is he going to think, he will know your broken, chatter chatter...My heart was pounding, but I humbly raised my hand, within a milli-second my husband wrapped his arm around me and placed his hand holding up mine.
CHOSEN, ADOPTED, HEART HEALED
Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time. Casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you. 1 Peter 5:6-7
He wants to heal your heart too. What lies have you been listening too? What chatter is non-stop in your mind? Does it line up with what the living water of God's word say? Are you like the Samaritan woman at the well? Has shame and rejection have you so covered that you hide from others because the wounds are so deep? Do you have barriers up that you didn't even know you had? He wants to heal you too, will you let Him?
Oh Abba Father, how I love you. Nothing can love me like you can. Nothing can heal those wounds like you can. No band aid will ever repair like you can. I AM CHOSEN ,LOVED, ADOPTED, HEALED in JESUS name!!
Go and tell others of his marvelous works, He gets all the glory and praise!